Shopping Cart with flat rate shipping and multiple tax rates

Need a simple cart / product management solution that can do some basic things.  Been looking for over 2 years and can't find one that will work for me.  Flat rate shipping, multiple tax rates, keep the same server, notification of order to multiple email addresses.  Simple stuff, really.  But I'm just a simple Web site designer...not a code junky.  I leave that part to brainy people like you. I'm sure if you came up with such a cart, it would be a mondo hit. 

I and my business partner have spent over 2 years looking for a shopping cart that will work for us.  All of my products are drop-shipped for me.  I need a cart that can:  

-- handle flat rate shipping

-- Allow for shipping rates in both the US and Canada (Looking for at least 10 shipping rate break-outs for each country.

-- Allow for at least 18 different tax rates.  (My state collects tax based on the DESTINATION of an order...not where I am located.  Nice, huh?)

-- Will allow for both Credit card processing off-line

-- Will send an email copy of the order to both my drop shipper and me

-- Will allow for multiple Web sites 

-- Will allow me to create the site and name the pages what I want (After all, that's why I use DreamWeaver - creative freedom).  So many of the PHP carts out there name the pages something that the search engines look at and choke on as far as optimization goes.

-- Will allow for a single item to be displayed in multiple categories and allow me to update an option or info and have it propagate throughout the site for that item.

-- Allow for product options such as size, color, right or left handed, etc...

-- Will allow me to keep my site / store on my current server.  I've worked hard to get first rank in Google for my keyword phrases.  Don't want to loose it because all my content is on another server for content management.

-- Needs to be simple for the customer to use in ordering process.  So many carts out there have so many bells and whistles, the customer gets kind lost and dazed and abandons the cart before checkout.  Don't want that!

-- Allow for a few add-ons... like an affiliate program and a newsletter sign-up

-- Isn't outrageously priced.  Don't mind paying for good software but I'm a very small business in a very niche market looking to kick to the next level of both site experience for my customers and increased conversions. 

Haven't been able to find a cart yet that can handle all of that.   I can't possibly be the only person with these needs and not be able to find anything that will work.

I'm a Web site designer...not a code junky.  I leave that part to brainy people like you. 

Thanks for all the fun goodies you offer!